It’s kind of crazy but I think I am starting to feel happier again. I am, however, not getting my hopes up but I feel like I have a goal in life again. There’s more of a direction to what I want to do with my life and I am so thankful for that.
It’s going to be about 4 months before I’ll be moving to Barcelona and I won’t lie, I AM a bit nervous. It’s going to be 4 months because our apartment’s lease is up in May.
It’s not like I love moving but I do it so much that I’ve become sort of proficient at it lol.
Why Barcelona? Well I think I covered it in my last post pretty much but why not; my parents live in Spain, Barcelona is a great metropolitan city with a great beach, nightlife, culture & art and of course, the sunny weather.
The last month here in Ireland has pretty much been horrendous; floods, crazy winds and just general shitty weather. Ireland is a wonderful country and I recommend it to anyone but the weather is something I just can’t live with anymore. Sorry guys :/.
Anyways, I am super excited to be around my parents again and that’s the main thing for me. When I am around them, my depression is a bit easier to manage because they look after me.
I’m okay and these crazy obsessions I have had feel like they’re almost completely subsided. No more having these thoughts on my mind 24 hrs a day like a couple of months ago. I feel released. Not really sure how it happened but it did and it makes my life so much easier. This might sound a bit cryptic but the ones who know me, probably understand what I mean.
These last 10 years feel like a bit of a blur or haze to me. I felt like I’ve just been existing with no real contribution to society. F*** I am so excited to just finally dive into what I’ve been wanting to do. Barcelona or Spain in general is able to give me that opportunity, which Ireland just can’t.
I’ve stayed in Ireland because I’ve been unable to let go of certain memories. Now I realize that these memories don’t serve me anymore and it’s SO time to move on already.