I had to write something
Darkness is creeping into my soul again.
I hate it when that happens,
Especially when I think and feel that things are moving into a positive direction again.

But no, it just hits me out of nowhere
and it paralyzes me.
Makes me feel weak and pathetic.
I try to tap into that inner strength and courage
but without real result.

This morning I had a dream
A pet tiger was out with me in nature
And we moved through obstacles together
like it was nothing
I felt so powerful

Then I woke up and I was alone
Mornings are always the hardest for me
Just simply waking up and dragging my body out of bed.
Why does it have to be so hard?

Why is my soul so sad?
I want to live again.
Let my soul soar high up in the clouds again.

Where is my purpose?
I want to contribute.
Now all I think about is when this dark cloud will lift from over my head.
When I will feel joy again and be able to truly appreciate love again.
Because my heart is closed, it’s scared.

I wish..I wish.. I wish
To not be so tired.
To not be such a coward.
To not be afraid to let go.
To not be afraid to let people in.
To not have such dark thoughts.
To be forgiven.

I pray for a change,
Let me be me again.



4 thoughts on “Darkness

  1. Aww, sending you hugs, I know this feeling all too well, stay stong, keep perservering, one day you’ll find your light again, there’s a good book to read, if you fancy it? It’s by Richard Carlson, ‘Stop Thinking, Start Living’; I think you may find it helpful.

    This is a beautifully sad poem…

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