There are times I wish I was 18 again. self-love3

That age is when everything started for me.
I wonder to myself if I would make different decisions.

Ultimately changing my destination to something completely different.

I’ve laid awake many a night thinking over pivotal turningpoints in my life

But I know myself and I know I would never change what I’ve experienced up until now. Had I made different decisions, I would not have met the loved ones I know now.
Or I might’ve but maybe just in passing.

I would like to re-live everything
Even the painful memories
But most of all the higher-than-life, happy moments.

Now I know I am not the posterchild for ultimate happiness when it comes down to it
I feel things a lot more intense than other people would
This means though, that when I experience Love or Happiness I appreciate it for all it is
To me Love is the single most important thing in this life.

Not just romantic love, but love for family, love for friends, love for the environment and nature.

I’ve changed some from the crazy wanderer I used to be. I could never be in place for a long time and even though the place I am in now is still new, I can feel myself not wanting to wander anymore. It’s like I am in a restingperiod now, and this is my recharging station.

I am patiently waiting, waiting on my Real life to begin. There is so much more coming to me, but the anticipation isn’t killing me for once. I am not a patient person at all, let me tell you. Usually when I see something I want, I want it right away and will do all I can do to get it.

No more for me. I am letting the Universe do all the work for me. I will just sit here and attract it to me by living in the moment.

I say F*** it to feeling insecure, F*** it to not feeling good enough, F*** it to not loving myself and finally F*** it to always running when things get too hard.

I put my love-energy out there and anybody that needs to feel that love can use it however they see fit. We all need love, we can act like we don’t, that for some it’s unknown and therefore scary but ultimately what it comes down to, is that it’s what can bring us true happiness. Whether it’s love for a partner or love for a hobby or a pet.

I try to tap into that love-energy myself every day which sometimes can be hard when it’s a particularly hard day. I’ve found that self-love is the most important of all love-forms. You can never part with yourself, you are WITH yourself every second of every day so you better start truly appreciating yourself, starting now!

This is already creating big changes in how I live. I’ve started the gym again, I am putting healthy food in my body, I am appreciating what I have in the now. But I KNOW that this is not all that Life has in store for me.

It’s coming, whether it’s this next month or in 8 years. I’ll be finally ready.



One thought on “What would you do?

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